Talking Helps, Listening Heals!

I woke up this morning with a pain in my lower back that penetrates down my right leg and is so strong that if it wasn’t for the walls I would fall (this is why my surgeon said I should not drive until we know what going on). Ok but that is not the reason for this blog! Lots of people in the world live with worse pain and very difficult situations!

But I find talking helps me! I blog and through blogging it helps me stay in touch with current events and still give me purpose. Maybe my experiences, knowledge and just maybe a small sentence or word through my blogs can help someone as much as it helps me!

You see talking helps! Have you noticed there are group meetings for almost any disease on earth? Small communities that share what they are dealing with and talk it out! The interesting thing is that talking helps, but in these groups there are a dozen or other people sharing their experiences and so LISTENING HEALS!

It is often said that the creator gave you two years and one mouth for a reason. Well the reason is balance but you get the point!

Whether your facing death (we all are) or diagnosed with a terminal disease, or just feeling worthless (the most dangerous of all) talk to someone or those close to you but never forget to LISTEN, fort he talking helps but it's the power of listening and applying that heals!

Dr. Q

I should of died!

A few years ago most of you know I had a major auto accident. It's never been the same. I have been in constant pain ever since! No matter what surgeries, what pills I suffer excruciating pain especially on my neck arms and legs!

This morning it’s my right leg. I blog so I don't think of the pain. I somehow believe I was kept alive for a reason, but what reason! Why did I not die that day? It would have been a perfect ending. I remember very little of the accident, but have suffered ever since. Of course this was made worse by the second auto accident. But it's the first that left me permanently basically paralyzed!

I try very hard to create a garden with Rob's help. I try to walk the dog and at times make it around one block! This is a man who could run, swim, ski, and jump from car to car with my friends (stupid) going 80 miles on a highway.

I don’t know why I did not die that day and I know there are worse people suffering than me. I try very hard not to complain! I do feel I hold Rob back! I can't dance (I loved to dance), I can't go out with him for too long without the pain causing us to either staying in the hotel room or I have to get back.

The head concussion has also left me with memory issues! Lately sometimes I forget who he is (it's scary). The good thing with memory issues is that movies you have seen shows you like are always new to you!

I will keep looking for a reason the creator kept me alive that day and I will stay the course because I am deeply in love with Rob! But at times it would be so easy to just fall asleep and move on! The glory days were so much fun! Nothing is the same when you deal with pain! So for those without pain and a happy life! Enjoy it things can change in a second!

Dr Q

Marie you live on even after the American flag is gone!

Approximately almost a year ago we moved into this house. We found out that we had a neighbor like no other! Her name was Marie! I had the privileged to get to know her but her drinking buddy was Rob!

As my illness worsens I longer have a desire to drink. Occasionally yes I have a beer or two and hardly any hard liquor. My mom is very happy! To me it's another sign of it's almost time!

Marie said once in her 27 years living here in this neighborhood (she was the first to move here) she never met or had neighbors like us! To this day every time I walk by the house next door I think of those words. Yesterday her family finished selling all her belongings and took the American flag down. She loved that flag!

 I actually got one like hers except in June I changed it to a (as she put it) a colorful flag! Yes the PRIDE flag! She asked so many questions related to why we need a flag, why we need parades etc. etc.

I and Rob loved Marie! I am sorry she is gone, but be assured until the day she dies she resides in us. And after we die she resides on the web forever. Rob and I ended up with a few things of Marie, but what we treasure most is her picture. She had a presence and a smile like Rob's. By the way she like1.5 lts of CC.

Marie I walked by today and noticed the flag is gone! The new buyers move in Oct 1st! But I want you to know that thought the American flag is gone, you never will!

Dr Q

A time to die, saving a soul-saving the deficit!

The right to die should not be explored but should be something we as a leader in the world lead in instituting. For those who read my blog know that mu dad has been in the hospital and then nursing home rehab after that ordeal. Of course because he went in for minor day surgery it became a major surgery almost causing death. But at an emotional moment my mother decided against better judgement to keep him alive.

My dad has said, WHY, Why did you not let me die! She said she could not live with herself now she has to live with the bad decision. Dada will never be the same. He may need 24x7 care which we can't afford and because some of his thinking ability works he feels he is in a prison and wants to go home, not realizing he can't take care of the basic needs.

Then thee is dealing with Humana, Medicare, the facility and family disagreements. Lets just say an emotional decision has caused havoc in the family and caused the taxpayers money that could of been avoided.

I walk through those corridors and I ask myself, WHY! Some if not most are just breathing! They can;t eat by themselves they have no idea where they are and they are there sometimes for decades awaiting death.

Its sad to keep these people alive and the right to die should be an option for everyone. If it does not become available in my time as an easy way to go i have option two, a gun!

Dr Q

Religion on the way of common sense.

I have the opportunity (hard to call it that) to assist with my Dad at the nursing home as he goes through rehab for a recent surgery. Whether he ever becomes the man he was is a story in itself! This blog is to define why "the right to die needs to be championed for and the reason people need a living will).

As I walk through the hallways to see my Dad, I can't help but look at bodies that are in beds but that should no longer here. Contrary to religion teaching, a human in a bed who cannot move, think or no longer take care of themselves no longer exist.

Common sense would say a "GOD", would not want humans to end up this way. The right thing to do is give people the right to die or allow them to decide when to die.

Spend a day or two in a nursing home and see for yourself if this would not be the just thing to do. The thought that when "God" is ready he will take them is not rational. As we head into the 22nd century we have moved forward in many ways with technology, but lack in common sense when it comes to leaving the planet.

Dr Q

It's good and some uncertainties

Let’s discuss the good! My sister is doing well and back in Boston with her daughter for the summer. God (I say this lightly for God is a spirit and neither male nor female) only knows that one needs to leave Tampa Bay for the summer. It's purely hell with a little drop of water here and there. Very unlike Miami, where we see rain everyday. I miss Miami so much! Yes, Rob does not like it but it's where I would like to finish my life on earth. Either that or PR near Ron.

That being said, she is doing well with her cancer treatments weekly and who knows she may outlive us all. But there is no cure and weekly treatments take a toll on my sister. I think about her daily, though she may not know!

As for me! I am done with surgery and the cancer has not returned. There are some possible bad news that I will keep everyone updated once and if confirmed! For now Rob and I spend as much time as possible seeing things we want to see this way. We don't know what the future holds, but enjoy where you are and as life moves you along enjoy wherever your planted until you’re finally seeded.

Dr Q

The End

It seems like yesterday a day would never end

It seems like yesterday that life just began

It seems like yesterday life had no end

But today sickness has kicked in

Yes yesterday your facing what seems like the end

The children don’t call and hurts within

People use you when all you need is a friend

Sometimes you think of the end

Sometimes loneliness is your best friend

You question why you’re here and start to bend

Life seems lost and has moved as fast as the wind

You want to love but it rips and buns like fire within

Life has moved way too fast and you’ve lost some of your best friends

You wonder why you have lived to see the end