Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Today With Abilio, A View Of Life Accepting Death: Born with a self destructive button!

Today With Abilio, A View Of Life Accepting Death: Born with a self destructive button!: There are good days but those bad days you ask, why were we not born with a self destructive button! Is this all a joke with the Various Go...

Born with a self destructive button!


Born with a self destructive button!


There are good days but those bad days you ask, why were we not born with a self destructive button! Is this all a joke with the Various God's (male/female neither exist) laughing at out misery and pain?

My day consists on living without a purpose, living in pain, living for the day chosen to move on.. But why? Why not just have a button that allows you to move on? Why do we need to tie exhaust extensions to our cars to fall asleep and move on? Why do we need to blow our heads off or take additional humans to move on? Why do we need to suffer and make those around us suffer too when a button could just make it so much easier?

A few years ago I was hit by a Drunk/Drugs Speeding driver. I am sure his joy ride did not have the intention of ending my life as I knew it. I rarely sleep! I have gained like 60 lbs, I can barely walk, I have nightmares (everyone is dead or dying around me! I keep Rob up at night working on my right leg, or giving me medication! I am fucking bored at doing nothing when my life was traveling the world! And etc.

My life now consists of the following:

Lawyers; Dealing with lawyers who in my option have no interest in yore pain, suffering or even justice! You're a case number and when they get to it, they get to it. Never mind it costs to go to a doctor, a hospital and even a ride to the store because I don’t drive. In my opinion they are waiting for you to die so the settlement becomes easier and they still get their cut!

Doctors; I have one or two that care, but the medical services needed here in Tampa Bay can't compare to Miami! There it was yes we know what you have we can fix it. Here it's we can guess and if we can't tell well wait till it falls off or turns black and we need to cut it off. Best of all would be if you died we could close you're case!

Hospitals: Like I have said lately to Morton Plant Mease BOD, it's a hit and miss! You can have a shift from heaven with nurses that care and take extremely good care of you or ones that want to push you along! It seems to be the case wherever you go or whom you meet from lawyers, doctors and hospitals. YOU"RE A BURDEN. You're not looked at as a customer or patient, but a burden!

Family; After a while family (except for my Rob) just moves on! Yes there is one or two who actually call and care. But everyone seems to be facing some type of major illness some terminal! There is no time for Joe! And honestly I don’t like the sympathy call. You're children who one thinks should be there for you are too busy making their own careers and with their friends. One forgets how important parents are. Some are lucky their children care!

Partner; My partner was the Creators way to prepare me for what they could foresee coming. We can't but it's in the cards and I am happy and honestly live for him!

Pain; There are no words defining my bad days! YES, there are good days! I wake up sing and at times feel nothing as it that February 14 2008 day never happened. Then a wrong twist or standing from the chair or a walk with the dog and it's all down hill from there. Being in Tampa Bay where prescriptions are the drug of choice it takes an act of a GOD to get some medication to relieve the pain for a few hours. Yes, they are trying to help an epidemic with our children and causing hell for us all!

Forgiving: I don't forgive that bastard and his friends who killed my life and soul on February, 14 2008!