Today With Abilio, A View Of Life Accepting Death: How do we deal with grief? Blog is back!

Today With Abilio, A View Of Life Accepting Death: How do we deal with grief? Blog is back!: I think my distaste for dealing with grief goes back to my grandfather's death and my aunt at a very young age. It was morbid, sad and lots ...

How do we deal with grief? Blog is back!

I think my distaste for dealing with grief goes back to my grandfather's death and my aunt at a very young age. It was morbid, sad and lots of yelling and crying. This left an impact that still effects me today! My mother's recent death just added to the pile of deaths I have yet to grief including my dd at age 17!

It's something I need to grasp since as we age unless we die first we will deal with lots of grief coming from different directions including the possibility of my love Robert! I have children and grand child so who knows. I also know my sister is dealing with terminal cancer and my brother has a self destructive mentality so a knock could mean serious bad news.

So how will I deal with grieving the loss of loved ones. Just my Bam Bam (though being a dog) almost got me into institutionalization! I just don;t do well with death of anyone or anything close to me!

Helping others I find easy:

• Acknowledge the situation.  “I heard that your _______ died.”  This shows that you are open to talk about the situation.
• Express concern.  “I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you.”
• Be genuine.  “I’m not sure what to do or say, but I want you to know I care.”
• Offer support.  “Please let me know what I can do for you.”
• Ask how your friend or loved one feels.  Do not presume to know how they feel.  Be a good listener.
• Find practical ways to help.  Deliver a meal or meals that freeze well and can be heated up in the coming days and weeks.  Offer to go grocery shopping or errand running, or even do their laundry.  If your friend or loved one has children, offer to take them to their activities, lessons, or sporting events, or just offer to take them on a special outing with you.
• Stay connected.  Don’t stop calling or visiting.  Make note of important dates and acknowledge them in the days, months, and even year to come.

But how do you deal with you're loss?

Well using my mother as an example:

• It's ok to cry, though my dad said a man does not cry! Parents fuck up their adult children at an early age!
• It's ok to feel the loss of the loved one
• It's ok to go over memories of youre relationship
• It's ok to miss that person
• It's ok to plaster youre wall with her pictures
• it's ok to make every meal she taught you how to make
• It's ok to mention her name every day
• It's ok to still love her
• It's ok to envision her around (be careful on this one)

People you love. don;t stop being loved upon death!I think this is whats missing from the discussion! Because someone dies does not mean you're love for that individual stops! To the contrary it may increase for a period and sometimes until you die. However it can't hamper you're willingness to live and move on!

My mother is always on my mind but so is Nelson, Steve, Brian and Joe! All gone too soon and all for the wrong reasons! Including my mom all could be alive today except for Steve!

To Live!

Dr Q