A few years ago most of you know I had a major auto accident. It's never been the same. I have been in constant pain ever since! No matter what surgeries, what pills I suffer excruciating pain especially on my neck arms and legs!
This morning it’s my right leg. I blog so I don't think of the pain. I somehow believe I was kept alive for a reason, but what reason! Why did I not die that day? It would have been a perfect ending. I remember very little of the accident, but have suffered ever since. Of course this was made worse by the second auto accident. But it's the first that left me permanently basically paralyzed!
I try very hard to create a garden with Rob's help. I try to walk the dog and at times make it around one block! This is a man who could run, swim, ski, and jump from car to car with my friends (stupid) going 80 miles on a highway.
I don’t know why I did not die that day and I know there are worse people suffering than me. I try very hard not to complain! I do feel I hold Rob back! I can't dance (I loved to dance), I can't go out with him for too long without the pain causing us to either staying in the hotel room or I have to get back.
The head concussion has also left me with memory issues! Lately sometimes I forget who he is (it's scary). The good thing with memory issues is that movies you have seen shows you like are always new to you!
I will keep looking for a reason the creator kept me alive that day and I will stay the course because I am deeply in love with Rob! But at times it would be so easy to just fall asleep and move on! The glory days were so much fun! Nothing is the same when you deal with pain! So for those without pain and a happy life! Enjoy it things can change in a second!
Dr Q
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