Saturday, September 24, 2011

Today With Abilio, A View Of Life Accepting Death: Do loved ones bid farewell from beyond the grave?

Today With Abilio, A View Of Life Accepting Death: Do loved ones bid farewell from beyond the grave?: Sometimes you just sense the presence of someone close to you, and it seemingly comes out of nowhere. Nina De Santo was about to close h...

Do loved ones bid farewell from beyond the grave?

Sometimes you just sense the presence of someone close to you, and it seemingly comes out of nowhere.



Nina De Santo was about to close her New Jersey hair salon one winter's night when she saw him standing outside the shop's glass front door.
It was Michael. He was a soft-spoken customer who'd been going through a brutal patch in his life. His wife had divorced him after having an affair with his stepbrother, and he had lost custody of his boy and girl in the ensuing battle.
He was emotionally shattered, but De Santo had tried to help. She'd listened to his problems, given him pep talks, taken him out for drinks.
When De Santo opened the door that Saturday night, Michael was smiling.
"Nina, I can't stay long," he said, pausing in the doorway. "I just wanted to stop by and say thank you for everything."
They chatted a bit more before Michael left and De Santo went home. On Sunday she received a strange call from a salon employee. Michael's body had been found the previous morning -- at least nine hours before she talked to him at her shop. He had committed suicide.
If Michael was dead, who, or what, did she talk to that night?
"It was very bizarre," she said of the 2001 encounter. "I went through a period of disbelief. How can you tell someone that you saw this man, solid as ever, walk in and talk to you, but he's dead?"
Today, De Santo has a name for what happened that night: "crisis apparition." She stumbled onto the term while reading about paranormal activities after the incident. According to paranormal investigators, a crisis apparition is the spirit of a recently deceased person who visits someone they had a close emotional connection with, usually to say goodbye.
As they chatted face to face in the doorway of her shop, De Santo said they never touched, never even shook hands. But she didn't remember anything unusual about him -- no disembodied voice, no translucent body, no "I see dead people" vibe as in the movie "The Sixth Sense."
"I'm in a really good place now," she recalled him saying.
There were, however, two odd details she noticed at the time but couldn't put together until later, she said.
When she first opened the door to greet Michael, she said she felt an unsettling chill. Then she noticed his face -- it was grayish and pale.
And when she held the door open for him, he refused to come in. He just chatted before finally saying, "Thanks again, Nina."
Michael then smiled at her, turned and walked away into the winter's night.
The energy never leaves the earth!
Dr. Q

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Today With Abilio, A View Of Life Accepting Death: The day life changed, the day I died! (part 2)

Today With Abilio, A View Of Life Accepting Death: The day life changed, the day I died! (part 2): This bog is with the assistance of Robert who watched me die and come back a different man on Feb 14, 2008! Part 2 One never forgets w...

The day life changed, the day I died! (part 2)


This bog is with the assistance of Robert who watched me die and come back a different man on Feb 14, 2008!

Part 2

One never forgets when something happens like it did to me on February, 14 2008!After my body started changing and after many tests and treatment with my jaw especially, we never got to complete the cervical spine issues, in May 27 2009 a lady speeding through an intersection in Coral Gables on her phone slammed into the other side of my car. It was a few thousand dollars from totaling the car!

However that accident added to the many health issues I was dealing with! Sitting in bed a few days after that accident my toes would not move! I had no pain on my lower back or legs but things like toes and legs stopped working! I could no longer stand and at times if it were not for leaning on a wall or Rob I would collapse. A cane became my best friend! I have one in every corner of my house and in each car!

After a number of doctors and treatments, i was rushed to the hospital because my lower spine had collapsed! I now have four bolts that to support my lower back and keep the spine from pinching my sciatic nerves which was causing my legs to die.

Well when I said I had no back pain, this was before surgery! I have never been the same since then! I live in constant pain from head to toe every day of my life. Being allergic to most pan medication,s I have limited ability to assist me with the pain except to lay down in a fetal position at times and cry allot.

Traveling in a car is a major issue! I always suffer for days with muscle spasms even after having a second back surgery to address this problem! Now I am back to the beginning with a new neurologist to see what else can be done. We never can get back to my upper health challenges because walking is key to mobility so we try to fix the bottom of the body before we can again address the top!

As I type this my fingers hurt, my neck is i pain, but the back does not act up until I try to stand up from the chair. 

This is nothing to what my sister is dealing with! She has cancer treatments every week and either the treatment or her body will eventually kill her. I am not facing that dilemma, but like her I am in pain every day! The only difference is mine could of been avoided if people did not drive DUI or on their cell phones speeding because they are late taking their kid to school!In addition after your health starts deteriorating after surgery there were prostate problems still unresolved, then I had a heart condition that needed hospitalization and now a possible bl;ladder issue needing a pacemaker!


I was taking 26 pills a day which I personally reduced to 16 because my liver was starting to being a problem! What happened in February, 14 2008 changed my life forever! That young man was arrested and walked away with a scratch in his head. His car was derivable! But my live and those around me changed forever. A DUI driver not only effects the one he/she injures they effect everyone in that individuals circle!

I most of the time wished that when I died that day in February 2008 for a few seconds that I stay dead! Dealing with all these health issues, needing constant assistance, being a burden to those you love is extremely depressing at times. Having to stop working was very difficult! I have been working since I was 11! Being restricted to my home 24x7 most of the time is very depressing and I could go on!

So though my life changed that day, I try to focus on why I did not! Hopefully there is a master plan and though I may never now why it just was not my turn to die but it was my turn to experience pain for the rest of my life! I now live day to day and at times hour to hour!


But I still love every minute of life's beauty and it's people even under the circumstances! I think I appreciate a butterfly, a rose, a kind person more than before that day that changed my life and for a few seconds I died!

Dr Q

Monday, September 19, 2011

Dmgagstpe

The day life changed, the day I died!

This bog is with the assistance of Robert who watched me die and come back a different man on Feb 14, 2008!

Part 1

It was Feb 14 at app. around 11:30 pm as we arrived in Providence RI to do what has come to be a tradition in our circle and that is the midnight shot welcoming in the new birthday year. As a surprise I had all our local New England friends meeting at a local establishment for the midnight as Rob started his last year in his 30's number 39!

I was the driver he was resting for it was his night. Maybe my guardian angel knew I could of taken the impact that was about to happen and that the love of my life could not. I rarely drove before that day and less since! I turned the car to park and I awoke on Rob's lap, being asked if I was OK! I missed the entire accident and to this day it's emotional just talking about it. For a moment or two I died and came back as someone else! The car was totaled and if you saw it, you wonder how I walked out of the car! It was not my day but what was to come would be more devastating to me than death itself!

Sometimes when you have a major auto accident and you bleed the body releases the pressure and in some cases it causes less internal damage. I did not have a scar except for a huge bump on my head as the frame of the car hit my head at app. 45 mph and pushed me into Rob's lap. My shoulder ached and my right knew was bruised the next day from the steering wheel. I had just experienced head trauma and a concussion!

As we have sen in recent years people die from light head trauma (internal bleeding), but as I said it was not my time! It wa though a day for me to experience life as I would never would of imagined. Why I was kept here is beyond me, but as my friend Trebor told me recently, maybe it's for writing blogs such as these! When I can I bog about what touches me, what moves me, what relates to me and what I have passion for!

He was a young man with his new red Mustang I believe! He was out in town with all his friends but unforgettably UDI! I don't know if it was alcohol or weed or maybe even more! I just remember two things are the impact! People asking are you OK, and a young man running from inside the shinning red vehicle that changed my life forever running to the side of the building!

We were there to pick up our grandson! You see we have Micah one week a year and I don;t care what I had to suffer with I treasure my grandson and that week. So I refused the offer to go to the hospital headed to the hotel room and picked up Micah the next day and headed back to Jersey! Rob stayed up all night making sure I did not die and still drove back home. The creator gave me an angel on May 11, 199 @ 130 and that was Robert!

I was actually ok until the welling started to go down and the body adjusted to the impact days later! I started to get major headaches that would penetrate through my cervical spine that still continue today! I started to forget people, places and things! I had what they call total short term memory loss for app 8 months! I would get lost gong to work or coming home! I would forget people I just met hours ago, I lost my job! My memory eventually rewired itself or it would of been a permanent disability. However it has never been the same. Sometimes I awake and don't know who Rob is still today! Sometimes I call out my x-wife and expect her next to me and glad to see Rob when I realize the mistake.

I had what they call night tremors and believed I was killing people at nights. Rob took many beatings as I lived these dreams! My neurologist said one day, " and he is still with you"! Many nights Rob stayed awake making sure I could breath. For some reason I would stop breathing. It became hard to fold clothes and holding a simple thing like a remote control was a heavy chore.

The day life changed, the day I died will continue on the next blog!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Meaningfulness of Live

It was believed that it needed to be in this way one had meaning in life; God, Family, Friends then yourself! Of course we have learned that if one does not LOVE oneself none of the fore-mentioned can happen, so this order a of successful life was flawed! There lays the problem!

Through my life and my generation, one was never told that in order for one to LOVE anyone, they had to love themselves first. I spent my life taking care of my family, wife, children and never once thought of me. It was believed we were always put last instead of first."For god loved the world, so much he gave his son in exchange for many" and so it goes. But God did not give himself as some religions teach! No, he was first and the earth somewhere after, for we do not know what else exists.

I have read many books including the bible and have been privileged to be surrounded by wonderful people and a great man, but unless you look in the mirror and are satisfied with what you see the puzzle will never be finished.

Finish the puzzle find a way to love yourself and happiness will follow! How does one do this in future blogs~

Dr. Q

Friday, September 9, 2011

As you face death, one ask's WHY?

Often people ask what death are you facing? What disease do you have that makes you run this blog? Plainly put we are all dying so it's not surprising one would run a blog like this! However this blog is dedicated to my sister who besides being the epidimy of good is dealing with cancer and that being terminal!

My dad died around his early 40's so I never thought I would last this long! Two of my aunts died an early age so as a child I thought I would never reach my 50's! Well here I am! Yes I do have many challenges ahead since my accident in 2008! Dam that DUI driver. My life changed forever and it's never been the same. Today my mind is working but my legs are a challenge. There is always a part of my body I am dealing with it!

So I look around and read allot when I can and I ask why?

Why don't we learn from past mistakes?

Why don't after, we have spent billions or maybe trillions have a cure for cancer?

Why do children refuse to listen to people who have experienced challenges, their parents or senior's?

Why did we not put into practice "things l;earned from 9/11"?

Why do we have a shrine and a charge dedicated to the "Lady of Milk" in St Augustine?

Why do we insist the creator is a "male"?

Why do we waste billions in government with no accountability?

Why does it take almost 6 years to settle my law suite when I was hit by a DUI driver?

Why do most of the people living in my area stay home and get food stamps?

Why is over the counter drugs, the drug of choice in our area and cocaine and meth popular in the Miami area?

Why do friends hurt each other, if they are friends?

WHY DID WE LOSE OUR FREEDOM ON 9/11 and now are considered guilty at airports instead of innocent?

Why do people say they will stay in touch, when they have no intention of doing so?

Why did it take the manager of the Holiday Inn I recently stayed in 3 days to to contact me when they guarantee you're stay as pleasant or your money back?

So many why's!!!!!!!!

You know from my late 20's to my late 40's I never gave much thought as to why! I was busy managing people, traveling the world providing ideas to improved technology, speaking about quality and implementing ways of doing things better. But now that I look back, most of this was due to "having to do it" verses "wanting to do it". Why? Did we have to experience a collapse of the automotive industry in the 70's to realize the Japanese were putting Quality first in their manufacturing and thereby beating our asses! Did we think the American people were idiots enough to keep buying shitty cars because they were American?

So yes as we age and at times when we are facing death we ask allot of why's! My sister has never asked why since she has been so good, married to one man since age 16, rarely if ever bad mouth anyone, very religious and extremely loving why she out of all of those we know is dealing with terminal cancer.

But as I write this I know why! There is no answer as to why's! There is do or die! We all have an impact directly or indirectly with those we encounter and sometimes there lies the why, the why we will never know!

Dr Q