When you can lose a Mother, Brother and Sister

If you read my blogs, you all know my mother died February 3, 2012! When I was a little boy the thought of losing my mother would make me cry sometimes for hours. I was and still am an emotional person. My mother was everything to me. I remember as a little boy getting up in the middle of the night and she was sewing tablecloths to sell and make money.. You see my dad was not involved in our life, it was all my mother.

Her death devastated me, I can't sleep, I can't think and I am having difficulty moving forward. I even tried to overdose two days after she died but Rob kept me alive. Rob is my rock, my mother was my hero. I blog because it helps me deal with current difficult issues and challenges we face.

In addition when you.re mother dies and her husband is left behind (not our father) with alzeimers without a will defining who is taking care of him major issues develop. Everyone no matter the religion (Jehovah's Witnesses) or whatever the religion, they run for the material things and the money car furniture and maybe a way to kill  the old man as he is often called. He is not my father but I always respected him as such and though my mom's relationship was strained at the end she has this huge house because he worked dam hard to get it for her.

My mother and I lost 5 years being together because I decided to marry Robert! To quote I was told both my sister and mother disowned me! But after 5 years on my 50th birthday my mother called and we were back in touch again especially when she fell in love with Robert. Most of y life unlike my brother I suffered to have a relationship with my mother. It was hell with my first wife. I know my sister suffered too because my mother disliked her husband and the feeling was mutual from him.

But why did I lose a brother and sister! Well my daughter came down for a few days to be with me after my mothers death and one day she came home with a green garbage bag with stuff (i call treasure) no-one wanted including their wedding pictures and of course my grandsons picture as well. My sisters grandchildren stayed in the wall it was mine that was returned.

I will always love my sister who fights with terminal cancer daily and I will always love my brother because its the right thing to do, and what my mother would of expected. She always said "that's you're brother and I need him, because you and you're sister sick"!

I don't think my mother loved one above the other, but I know one thing, tonight she told me to let it go! In the end no matter what, even with my brother watching over her she died alone, but I know she thought of me during her last breath!My love for her was unconditional, from the heart!

One knows that for the set of dishes I bought for her when I was 16 she still had and was returned to me along with the trash bag full of memories and my mothers treasures!

You're forever son,
Abilio